(Lens) Flare

Then the angel of the Lord touched the meat and the unleavened bread with the tip of the staff that was in his hand. Fire flared from the rock, consuming the meat and the bread. And the angel of the Lord disappeared. When Gideon realized that it was the angel of the Lord, he exclaimed, “Alas, Sovereign Lord! I have seen the angel of the Lord face to face!” (Judges 6:21-22)

For most of my life, my vague memory of Gideon (from childhood Sunday School classes) was of a  hero, a strong man who saves the Israelites at some unspecified point in the Old Testament.

Well, my vague memory wasn't wrong, but I'd forgotten (or maybe I'd never learned) that Gideon was a reluctant servant of God.

An angel approaches him in Judges 6 and says, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."

What does Gideon do? He immediately questions the angel; how can the LORD be with us when it seems more like he's abandoned us?"

The angel says he's sending Gideon to save Israel, and Gideon responds by telling the angel that he's from the weakest clan of Israel, and is the least in his family.

The angel says he'll be with Gideon, and Gideon asks for a sign.

I think Gideon is a man after my own heart. I get doubts, and I wonder if I'm seeing things rightly, and I question whether that insistent voice telling me to stand up, or to be silent, or to speak, is a whisper from God or the urgings of my own selfishness and pride.

I want a sign. I want a flash of lightning, the flare of flame, to interrupt my morning prayer session and shed light on God's will. I want something that tells me, "Yes. This is it. This is what you are to do, mighty middle-aged warrior lady, and the LORD will be with you."

But seriously. I do want to use my gifts for God, but I don't know how, or when, or where to use them. I want a sign.

God gives Gideon a sign--a very obvious one as his new angel-friend burns up Gideon's offering with the tip of his staff: "Fire flared from the rock, consuming the meat and bread." 

So far, no fires have flared up in my little living-room prayer corner. Or maybe they have, and I just haven't seen them.

The flare of flame from a backyard campfire, with one of the neighbor kids in the background.