Party

But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. (1 John 3:17-18 )

Perhaps the biggest change in me since I started following Jesus is that I suddenly have this heart for loving people "in deed and truth." It's the weirdest thing, really; for so much of my life, my focus has been on myself -- my physical health, my creativity, my passion for learning, my piano, my job, my writing, my life.

But now? Yes, I want to be healthy and creative, and yes, I want to learn and play piano and and write and work and have a meaningful life, but ... those things are no longer the most important things.

The most important thing is learning who God is. Not far behind that is this sudden, weird, overflowing love that I have for people, and an accompanying desire to show that love however I can--through kind words, baked goods, a phone call, a visit. My biggest frustration is that I'm only one person, and there are so many people to love, and every one of those people is a complex person, and it would take ages to truly know just one.

So I do what I can. I deliver cookies. I visit people who might like a visit. And (so far) I never feel like I'm doing it out of some sense of duty. I actually want to do these things; I find joy in handing over a few homemade snickerdoodles and look forward to the socially distanced visits.

It's so odd because I have always been such an introvert. I've always hated visiting people, even people I liked. Even if I had fun while visiting, I would be exhausted afterward, and usually frustrated that I spent time with another person and not at my piano or on my writing. That's no longer the case. Now if I know I've helped someone to feel appreciated, or to be less lonely somehow, I start feeling like I'm walking six inches above the ground ... and I'm already thinking of what I can do for someone else.

I am not writing this to show what a great and selfless person I am. Not at all! I struggle with selfishness and self-centeredness daily; it's one of my biggest weaknesses. Maybe my own "thorn in the flesh." Instead, I want to show the transformation from what I was to what I'm becoming, what God is doing in me. I feel constantly surprised by it; this kind of openness has never, ever characterized my personality.

In keeping with today's "party" theme, here's a birthday cake from one of the very few parties we've thrown in the Age of COVID. Actually, it's the only party we've thrown. Our neighbor turned 40, so we invited her and her kids over for dinner and made-from-scratch birthday cake. It was kind of neat because she totally didn't expect the neighbors to give her a celebration, and I think it meant a lot to her.